How Separation Anxiety Affects Relationships

February 10, 2025/Laurie Newcomb, MA, LPC, NCC, CCTP

Hi, I’m Laurie Newcomb, a licensed professional counselor at Transformation Counseling. I specialize in helping individuals and couples navigate challenges like separation anxiety. If you’re reading this, you might be wondering how separation anxiety is affecting your relationships.

Let me assure you, you’re not alone, and there is hope. Together, we’ll explore what separation anxiety is, how it impacts relationships, and what you can do to create healthier connections.

What is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety is more than just missing someone when they’re gone. It’s an intense fear of abandonment that can lead to emotional distress and overwhelming worry. While it’s commonly associated with children, adults can experience it too.

If you have separation anxiety, you might feel a constant need for reassurance, struggle to be alone, or fear that your loved ones will leave you. These feelings can take a toll on your emotional well-being and your relationships.

How Separation Anxiety Affects Relationships

Separation anxiety doesn’t just affect you – it impacts your relationships too. For example, you might find yourself clinging to your partner, fearing they’ll leave, or feeling anxious when they’re not around.

This can create tension, as your partner may feel overwhelmed or unsure how to help. Over time, these patterns can lead to communication breakdowns, trust issues, and even relationship conflicts.

I once worked with a client who struggled with separation anxiety. She would call her partner multiple times a day, worried he was upset with her or would leave. While her partner cared deeply for her, he felt drained and unsure how to support her without enabling her fears.

This is a common dynamic in relationships affected by separation anxiety.

The Role of Attachment Styles

Separation anxiety often overlaps with certain attachment styles, particularly anxious attachment. If you have an anxious attachment style, you might crave closeness but fear rejection or abandonment. This can make separation anxiety feel even more intense.

Understanding your attachment style can help you and your partner work together to build a healthier, more secure relationship.

Long-Term Effects of Untreated Separation Anxiety

If left unaddressed, separation anxiety can lead to ongoing relationship challenges and mental health struggles. For example, it might contribute to chronic stress, low self-esteem, or even depression.

Over time, these issues can strain your relationships and make it harder to feel secure and connected. That’s why it’s so important to address separation anxiety early and seek support when needed.

Strategies to Manage Separation Anxiety in Relationships

If you’re dealing with separation anxiety, there are steps you can take to feel better and improve your relationships:

  1. Practice Self-Soothing Techniques: Find activities that help you feel calm when you’re alone, like deep breathing, journaling, or listening to music.
  2. Build Emotional Resilience: Focus on your strengths and remind yourself that you are capable of handling time apart.
  3. Communicate Openly: Share your feelings with your partner in a calm and honest way. Let them know what you need and listen to their perspective too.

For partners, it’s important to offer emotional support without enabling unhealthy behaviors. Here are some tips:

  • Set Healthy Boundaries: Let your loved one know what you can and can’t do to support them. For example, you might agree to check in once a day but not multiple times.
  • Be Patient: Understand that separation anxiety is a real challenge, and change takes time.
  • Encourage Professional Help: Gently suggest therapy as a way to address the root causes of separation anxiety.

How Therapy Can Help

As a therapist, I use an integrative approach to help clients address separation anxiety and improve their relationships. This may include mindfulness therapy to manage anxiety, EMDR to process past trauma, and psychedelic-assisted therapies to explore deeper emotional patterns.

Therapy provides a safe space to explore your feelings, develop new coping strategies, and build stronger, healthier connections.

Research shows that therapy can be highly effective in treating separation anxiety. By addressing both the emotional and physiological responses to separation, these approaches can help reduce distress and improve relationship satisfaction. If you’re ready to take that step, I’m here to help.

Conclusion

Separation anxiety can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to control your life or your relationships. With the right tools and support, you can manage your anxiety and create deeper, more fulfilling connections. If you’re ready to take the next step, I’m here to help.

Reach out to Transformation Counseling today, and let’s work together to build the life and relationships you deserve.

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Laurie Newcomb, MA, LPC, NCC, CCTP

Licensed Professional Counselor, MA, LPC, NCC, CCTP My goal for each therapy session is to respect the client, allow them to be heard, appreciate where they are coming from, and help guide them through their struggles or issues. My approach to therapy is to utilize an integrative approach with clients. What this means is that I utilize different approaches for different people, as we are not all alike. Whether you're suffering from depression, anxiety, trauma, or any other kind of challenge, you want a therapist you feel comfortable with and who can help you bring about change. I have experience working with substance abuse, anxiety, depression, trauma, and life transitions. I am personally passionate about assisting clients who have endured trauma in their life. I am certified in trauma therapy and continue to work with clients with substance abuse.